I try to write every week. I give myself a writing prompt either from a philosophical standpoint, some sort of Divine intuition, or from a really neat book of prompts I picked up last year. I quickly realized that putting my thoughts to paper was just as therapeutic as speaking to my therapist. It allows me to unpack the overwhelming feelings in my mind, and realize that those thoughts aren’t overwhelming at all – they just needed to be put in an order that makes sense.
A few weeks ago, I decided to write about being enough. It’s a heavy topic, and one that we all battle with at some point in our lives. I’ve lived most of mine with this sense that I’m not enough – that I’ll never be truly accepted by anyone (including myself) – that my dreams are just that, and that I’ll never be able to make a difference in my time on this Earth. But I never took the time to ask myself, Why? Why don’t I feel enough? What does that even mean?
And as I wrote the words, What does it mean to be “enough?” in my journal, I realized asking those questions was the most relieving feeling in the world.
as much or as many as required
And on that day, just like that, all of those questions dissolved. They dissolved because of those words, as required.
Whose requirement? Who defined the requirement of being enough? Are there actual set-in-stone requirements to life and living?
Since being human, or even more specifically being our true Selves, requires nothing but to exist, then we are always enough. In fact, it’s realistically impossible to not be enough. What makes us feel less comes from a requirement we make for ourselves that either came from our family or society, and they got their requirements from family and society, and so on all the way back through time.
Do you feel that? What we think makes us enough is exactly that – it’s what we think. It came from another human (or group of humans) and was passed down throughout lifetimes. It’s been altered to match up with the demands of the generations and because of that, it’s not the end-all-be-all way we should be judging our own lives.
There is no recipe for living – no perfect way to exist – for existence itself is already perfect. We place so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, that we are blinded at times to how magnificent we truly are. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to be better or to reach higher. It means we have to do so with a better motivator than always thinking we aren’t good enough.
To grow means doing so with grace, for if we continue to strive with feelings of being less than, we’ll never grow at all. We’ll always be reaching – and as soon as we catch the next branch, we’ll scoff at how much left there is to climb and we’ll just fall back down to the bottom of the tree.
But IMAGINE – imagine if we felt we’ve been enough all along and we’re motivated to go on by being proud at how far we’ve come and not by how much left there is to go. What would that mean? That would mean we are living our truth – the truth that we are enough, we’ve always been enough, and that the road blocks and flat tires are just a part of the dance and a gentle reminder that the triumphs only feel good because they were achieved in the wake of life’s tests to our strength.
So remember: it’s impossible to not be enough. It’s your thought patterns, your upbringing, and society that brings you to the less-than place. Patterns and history are hard to break free from, but isn’t it worth it?
Once you accept it – truly accept that where you are is exactly where you should be – then anything is possible.
I want to end today with a mantra. No matter where you are in your life, your mind, or on this planet, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Take another, and as you bring your breath to an inhale say softly to yourself: I am enough. And as you let out the exhale, the part of your breath that expels what your body does not need, so too shall you expel those thought patterns that make you think otherwise.
Maybe you let go of those thoughts for the day or maybe it was just for that breath. The day I first wrote about this was a day of bliss. The thoughts have come back and left several times since, and that’s okay. It takes new thought patterns to push away the old ones.
If you can remember one thing – one sentence that might give you a moment of peace – remember this: Even just for now, I am enough.
Because I am. And you are too.